Out where the stones stand up like thrones beside the ocean
Out where the waves make a grave of the sea
The lovers struggled in the middle of the tempest
And water angrily crawled up onto the beach
Said, hold my hand and stay with me
We’ll be released
But the tide clung like an anchor to her feet
And though he tried to make the water line recede
It pulled her out into the sea
He could not break apart the waves to bring her safely back in
He watched her hand break through the surface once
Then disappear again
Forever wait inside the sea for my, my dear
I hear you
You speak in every curling wave
And sing in every violent breeze
Someday not far away from here
My dear, I swear I’ll see you
And we will hear the seraphs cry
For they will still envy you and I
La Dispute - Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again
Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It’s so much easier with someone or something to blame.
I’ve always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?
I’ve never spent a lot on finding a remedy. I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason. I guess
That’s why I’ve always turned to writing it down. Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And I guess that’s why it haunts the pages of everything—to self-examine.
I think the thing is that I shut off from everything. From friends and family and my own ambitions. From having fun. I just shut off from everything. Self-defeating? Yeah, probably. But I don’t Know that I had total control over it. And I’m not sure it even matters why. Sometimes things Happen and you can’t do anything. Plus, I’m the only one who deals with it anyway. So if Everyone could do me a favor and just put their fingers down I’d—and keep your mouths—
Sorry. I know I seem angry. I’m not, I…I promise. I just know I did this to me. And I will deal with It accordingly. And I don’t need opinions from those never a part of it. Don’t need them pointing Out my problems, they’re mine. Don’t need reminders I know better than anyone.
And yeah, I know, I should be finding another way. I know that I should be out seeking a Substitute. But just forgetting never really made sense to me.
So I haven’t been.
Do I feel embarrassed about it? I think you know the answer to that. I think you’d probably feel a Little bit embarrassed for me, wouldn’t you?
I know I should’ve moved on ages ago, been happy already, but it’s never been that easy for Me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.
I know I’ve only ever tried a handful of times to sever this thing torturing me. It never got me Anywhere, with anyone. No friendship or hobby, no lover’s bed worked. But looking back I Maybe never tried hard enough, and it is my fault.
Maybe I never tried at all.
La Dispute - a Letter
"The worry, the wonder, the shortness of days,
The replacement for purpose,
The things swept away by
The worry, the wonder, my slightness of frame,
The replacements for feeling,
The casual lay. And
The worst of the wildlife wears clothes and can pray and
The worry, the wonder, for three meals a day.
Only death unimpeded, not slowing it’s pace,
Brings that petty, old worry and wonder away."
La Dispute - a Poem